Two. Oh.

Fresh starts.

I think you need them sometimes, even if you aren't exactly sure why. Wiping the slate clean and starting again can be quite therapeutic, never totally pleasant, but to me it seems like a necessary evil. I suppose you have to break a few thinks to figure yourself out and make yourself happy in a way you are truly comfortable with.

I think that is especially true when you are abroad. Away from family, friends, and loved ones. It's difficult. You are leading two lives. The first one is carrying on without you, as you desperately try to put the breaks on and pause what is going on at home. I guess life doesn't wait for your holiday to finish before changing things; pulling everything you once knew apart. 

Then there is that second life. A 'fake' one? Possibly. Temporary? Definitely. But does that make it any less real, or valid? The fact that this reality will no longer exist next year. Everyone I know will be gone. Moved back home; or on to explore another country. The Netherlands will never hold the same meaning after that. I'm sure I will always hold a soft spot for it in my heart, but all the people, my friends, will be gone: scattered around the globe once more.

And it gets increasingly difficult to keep track of both lives. The pressure and confusion nurturing in your mind. Emotions running wild. Then to knowingly put an end to what is tearing you apart inside. Calmness descends. It is such a relief to draw a line in the sand. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it is difficult. But, yes, I had to do it. I had to do it for me.

*       *       *       *       *

Twenty. 

So I guess this week has been a little odd. Turning 20; leaving me teens behind (help!). And no family dinner, what even is that? I'm not kidding. I was literally reduced to tears on skype when I was talking to my mum - can't handle not having my birthday meal. Broke my heart a little. But Mama Flem has promised to host a belated birthday dinner when I return for Christmas - cake and all! I have even requested my favourite home-made soup. Yes, I am a massive sap. Oops. 

P.s. Mum, now that everyone on the internet knows, you cannot back out of our deal. Just saying. =P

So what did I do for my birthday? Honestly, I'm not a huge birthday person. I just prefer a quiet hangout with the family - that is always plenty. So instead, this year I've had to adapt. I arranged to meet up with a few friends and go out a couple of times. I'm not into the big parties, especially when I'm the focus. No thanks - I'd rather just relax; any parties can wait!

On Wednesday (my official birthday) I went for lunch with my friend Jinn. She gave me a little gift and treated me to lunch (thanks again for that). We went to Dudok, which was lovely. Jinn wanted to try the famous apple pie (which was later declared as "average"), and I settled for a warm and tasty tomato soup. Afterwards we went our separate ways so that I could pay my rent *sigh* and she could sort a few thinks our for her Swiss holiday. I am jealous!!

Then it was off to our International Journalism class. Thankfully, it was a really interesting lecture. There was two journalists coming to speak to us about war and disaster reporting. It was an excellent class - I suppose there are worse ways to spend your birthday!

Later that evening I skyped with my mum and brother, which was a nice substitute for the family dinner I had been craving. We chatted for ages and my birthday present actually arrived during skype - perfect timing!

So what presents did I get? A lot more than expected anyway.

• Doctor Who themed Mr Potato head (of course)
• Two scarves (dog and owl themed respectively)
• Perfume
• A massive box of eye-shadow
• Bracelet 
• A comb with mirror
• A blue cuddly elephant (who has now taken up permanent residence on my bed)
• A chocolate "N"
• Percy Pig Sweets
• Chewing gum
• A nice warm woolly jumper which is black with white hearts - I love it: so warm and comfy
• Sanitary towels, because I was complaining about how expensive they were lol (you always need to be prepared)
• Bookmark
• Birthday cards
• Two free lunches (despite my multiple protests)
• A beautiful bouquet of flowers (which were waiting for me in the kitchen after I arrived home)
• And, of course, all the gifts my parents brought over on there early visit a few months ago!

He sent more than flowers.

Wow. Think I did rather well for myself there. Although, I want to talk about these bloody flowers! After the initial shock (never been sent flowers before) I started to quite like the idea. So I begun unwrapping them and placed them in the corner of my room, by the window. So that was fine. But, of course, as it is me, I am incapable of leaving them alone. I sit down with my camera and start taking a few snaps, all the while thinking how beautiful they were. Then I come across this:

This, to me, looks suspiciously like a spiders nest. Oh, hell to the no! It all makes sense now, it wasn't a thoughtful gift after all, it was a booby trap! Git. Well it quickly vacated the premises through my bedroom window. Not the whole bouquet, of course. Just those two suspicious leaves. Ew. I am officially freaked out! Welcome to the riot that is my life!

Sumo.

No, unfortunately that does not refer to sumo wrestling. Instead my friend Cheng decided to introduced me to Japanese cuisine. I had only had Japanese food once before and loved it, so I was quite excited. However, when I arrived I realised we would be having sushi. One of my food fears (help!). I've had it a couple of times before and hated it, so I was super nervous. But it turned out to be really nice - apparently the stuff I had tried before was just a shoddy attempt at sushi. But this was excellent!

We both laughed at my attempt to use the chopsticks - I was a compete disaster: all fingers and thumbs! Ended up getting what I imagine is the Westerner-friendly chopsticks - much better. Phew!

Despite my protests she treated me to the meal: even going as far as crumpling up the receipt and shoving it in her bag so that I couldn't see the price. So, again, thank you!

Afterwards, the pair of us headed for a wee gander round the shops, where I managed to get a few silly little gifts for our Sinterklaas event at university next week.

The universe is against me.

So apart from the spider nest incident, I've had a few more disasters this week.

I've broken my bike. Twice. The first time the back wheel had burst, so had to be replaced. Goodbye 20 euros. It was a fair price, but still annoying. Just a few days later, my front light stops working and a piece snaps of the bottom. Great. Personally, I don't fancy cycling in the dark (alongside the traffic) without one. And because it's Holland, it gets dark around 4 or 5pm. Just what I needed in my life...!

But despite all the heartache and leaving my teen years behind me, overall it has been a good week! :)

Just a final note, I eventually got all my grades back from term 1: 7.1, 7.4, and 7.9. Boom!

"MOVE OVER"

The boyfriend came to visit. Jamalie week, as I like to call it. Yes, this is why I cut last weeks post short. Deal with it.

So what did we do?

Thursday: Arrival

I had class (for four, long hours). So I left Jamie to his own devices: letting him make his way to the uni by himself. Oops, sorry!

Don't mind me...

It wasn't the most romantic reuniting. I eventually found him in the dark, huddled under a tree, attempting to find shelter from the torrential rain and harsh wind. Welcome to the Netherlands. We quickly ducked inside the sports building. Him nursing a hot chocolate and me scoffing down a tuna roll and masses of roasting chips. Yum!

Then, we eventually braved the weather and retreated back to my humble abode, to open some early birthday presents. Woo! And then for Jamie to crash and fall asleep...cheers for that. You can't even blame it on jet lag either! Pitiful attempt.

Friday: Antwerp

Jamie, my friend Jinn, and myself made a little trip to Belgium. With the discounted train tickets, it was actually cheaper than going to Amsterdam. The train journey was rapid as well - only took an hour! Result.

Jinn took us round the city, pointing out some of the more obvious sights, and humouring me and Jamie having our cameras stuck to our faces the whole time. I'm a camera geek, and I like it! After a little while we decided to go our separate ways. Jinn required some retail therapy, and me and Jamie wanted to explore some more.

As we waited patiently on a bus tour, we decided to hide from the cold in McDonanlds (because we are clearly so cultured). He got a milkshake and I had a smartie McFlurry - my favourite! Although possibly not the smartest option on such a freezing cold day *shivers*.

The tour was good but not ideal for taking pictures: we got some horrific ones. But it was a nice way to explore the city a bit more and gave us the chance to have a nice, comfy seat for 40 minutes. Although, by the end of it the pair of us were exhausted from jumping back and fourth, trying to get a good shot! Perhaps not our finest photography!

A little while later our little team of three was reunited to have some lunch and go out in search of the mystical H&M. Found it.

Soon we split up again. Team Jamalie heading to investigate a park and take some more pictures. Later we went on the hunt for a phone charger and were quickly successful.It was a lovely day out, but freezing cold! We probably would have been happy to stay longer had the weather been kinder, but at least it was dry.

So, at this point I was desperate for a nice, warm, comfy train. Pfft. No such luck. We needed to get a connecting train - which is zero fun. Plus, the first one was disgustingly busy and super slow. But eventually we made our way home.

And I, being the master chef that I am, made a delicious meal (even if I do say so myself). Not that Jamie ate any...haha. Story of the week. =P

Then he insisted on settling down to watch Star Trek. Day done.

Jinn took, and gave us, two photos from her polaroid camera - how lovely! In the first one we were pretending to be a happy, functioning couple. Ha. The second, I feel is more representative: half embrace, half strangling. Sounds about right. Although Jamie managed to claim the second one. Gutted!! Boo.

Saturday: Amsterdam

We might have had a bit of a slow start to the day. I don't think either of us was truly enthusiastic for more travelling, but we were forced to squeeze it into the first two days so that I didn't miss any classes. 

Check oot my dreads.

First things first. A quick visit to the ladies in the windows. It seemed like Jamie was a little overwhelmed by it all! Ha. While we were in the red light district we picked up a few souvenirs. I am delighted with my purchase, which I'm planning on presenting to the family on Christmas day. It is hilarious!!

Then it was time for Madame Tussauds. It was a bit over priced, in my opinion, but I guess that was to be expected. Overall it was rather fun! Some of them didn't look too realistic, but there were some gems in there too!

Miming with Chaplin.

Jamie and Justin bonding.

Alright there Depp? Don't mind if I do ;)

So, what next? 

A failed attempt at finding my way around Amsterdam. I was aiming for one of the nicer areas of Amsterdam to find something to eat. It didn't go too well. Unfortunately, we found ourselves in a non-tourist looking street so I panicked and looped round back to the familiarity of Dam Square. Phew. Then, finally, we found ourselves a little Italian and scoffed down some pizza. 

Sunday: Lazy day

I abandoned Jamie a little and just sat studying and writing an essay. But he managed to entertain himself by reading my book, and once I had gotten bored of studying, we started on our Shrek marathon!! We also managed to have a nice wee skype session with my grandparents and aunt. A lovely chilled out afternoon!

Monday: Cinema

Jamie's panorama - wish I could make it bigger on this post. 

After class we decided on a wee cinema venture - my first since arriving in Rotterdam. Thor was our movie of choice, initially I wasn't overly enthusiastic, because I'm not a massive fan of those movies but it was amazing! And it was in IMAX 3D! Now, I am not normally a fan of 3D - in the normal cinema it always looks slightly disappointing and hurts my eyes. But IMAX 3D? That is a different story, and I was happy to make an exception.

Then it was dinner time - Pizza Hut. We decided to go for the buffet. But it was a lot more of a challenge to get food than I had anticipated. Now, I don't know about the Dutch, but back home the buffet is a relatively civilized affair (well, as civilized as you can get in Scotland). But this buffet was utter madness. I felt like I was in one of David Attenborough's documentaries. Every time new pizzas were placed on the serving area half the restaurant dived out of their seat, devouring everything they could get their hands on. It was beyond ridiculous: people pushing and shoving, taking seven/eight slices at a time. Survival of the fittest Rotterdam style!

 Tuesday: Night time photography venture

That is pretty self explanatory. No need for my ramblings here.

Wednesday: Departure

Dropping Jamie off at the train station, then back to business as usual, frantically swatting up in the library before class. It was as if he was never here. Very odd. All I had waiting for me that night was a Doctor Who themed Mr Potato Head and a blue cuddly elephant. It was a nice week, but very intense after so long apart. I'm not certain either of us were really ready for it! Need to find a happy medium: not the two polar extremes. Long distance isn't easy. 

Since I'm a bit of an introvert, I was delighted to have some me time again, and the ability to stretch out my toes! So I happily started sifting through the masses of photos from the week.

Thursday: TV

I started watching Masters of Sex, and found that I couldn't stop. Also, had a wee chat with two friends who unexpectedly decided to drop by to pick something up.

Friday: Gym session and laundry.

Okay, I'm done. Off you go! See you next week. 

*collapses on bed and falls asleep*

Mixed bag.

This week hasn't exactly been the easiest. To be quite frank, I have never felt more homesick. It's funny how wonderful Skype is at keeping in touch with family and friends, but as soon as something goes to shit or someone is in poor health, it suddenly seems very in adequate.

Craving my Christmas break even more now. It can't come quick enough...

A family Christmas (2011)

Next week is going to be a busy one, but I almost feel guilty for making plans. With everything going on back home, my heart isn't quite in it.

Sexy chipped nail polish!

But thankfully I've found some piece in writing, which always helps me to sort through my thoughts. Fortunately those are private. The internet isn't quite the place for spilling your heart...(at least not for me)! =P

But my friends, both here and at home, have been a nice distraction. And, of course, a dose of window shopping and ice cream always helps!

So, I'm now glad that we don't have a gap between terms (although I was whingeing about it last week)! My new classes have kept me on my toes - and sorting out timetable clashes has consumed my mind. I'm actually really enthusiastic about my new subjects: they seem really interesting and I can't wait to start learning properly again, although its more than a little depressing when you are given new assignments in the first week of term! But I suppose it'll help keep me busy even when there are no "fun" distractions like visitors, nights out and day trips. This term I've chosen the following three classes:
- Introduction to Statistical Analysis (yes, I'm off my rocker)
- Made in Holland - Dutch Creative Industries (which will be completed before Christmas - always a winner!) and...
- International Journalism

Also found out that I got a 7.9 for my second subject: Communication and Organizations. Couldn't believe it! Made me a very happy bunny.

I realize this post is early this week (how did that happen?). But I also know how busy the next couple of days are going to be. Or, how I've planned them that way. I suppose we'll see what happens. But regardless, I wont be writing my blog again until later on next week. So I decided to cut this week short, rather that leaving it completely blank!

Sending my love back to Scotland, stay strong =) xxx

Shut up.

What's up homies!?

It's been a long, long week.

No lies. I have done nothing of interest this week. You better just leave now... No joke. *dramatic sigh*

Coursework was due and exams arrived.

Therefore, I had no social life this week. Unless you count meeting up with the girls for a mammoth study session on Wednesday. I don't.

I had two exams this week: Cultural Influences on Communication, and Communication & Organizations. Both at 18.30 until 20.30. Which, I for one, do not understand! Why were they so late at night? I mean technically yes, it did give us time to study before hand, but it also allowed more than enough time for a major panic session too! Yay. Anyway, they both went slightly better than expected - it wasn't overly horrific, lets just say that.

And I got my grades back for Media & Diversity - 7.1 (71% -ish). Boom. Was rather chuffed with that!

After my final exam on Thursday, we popped over to the bar on campus for an hour to relax a little. I was slightly tempted to stay out with the others, but I still hadn't had anything to eat - it would have been disastrous! Plus, going home meant watching documentary's and drinking hot chocolate! =D

There was a party in the library last night as well. Bit of an odd concept if you ask me. I didn't go, partly because none of my friend were. Plus the tickets were pretty pricey. 20 euros. Meh. I was morbidly curious, but not quite that curious!

Then I spent today being a wonderful granddaughter, and (finally) sent a reply to my grandpa's letter! Such a delightful child. =P

Now, since I have zero more to talk about, I decided to include a cheeky wee video for you guys. Of course, as it's me, I'm incredible awkward. Also, my front tooth looks way more wonky than it actually is in real life (or at least I hope so). Just saying. And yes the video is of pretty poor quality, but I'm afraid the most my wee-old-man of a laptop can handle is windows movie maker. No judgements!! Plus, any video from my half decent camera is, quite simply, out of the question. So yeah... Also, why am I such a fidget?? Gah!

Anyway, now that you have marvelled at my awkwardness, I think it's time for me to depart.

Lara Croft

Trying out the fake blood!

Another short post this week. Don't judge! Just got tonnes of uni work and studying to do. Currently attempting to finish off my assignments so that I can finally begin revising. Exams are next week - yuck! Fingers-crossed! And I cannot believe that my term one classes are over. When did this happen?

But, since Halloween was this week, I had to take one night off to celebrate. And, of course, it was a night at Bed - how predictable! It was a good one though.

Me and my Gran did have a little drama on skype when I was getting ready! We quickly established that it was fake blood, but apparently my miming skills are just horrendous... Love you Gran! =D

The evening started with a couple of the girls having a few drinks at mine: gossiping, listening to some tunes, and taking far too many pictures! One of the girls has a polaroid camera, so as a self-admitted camera and photo addict, I was more than a little jealous. The instant pictures were beautiful, and she was kind enough to share them with us. Was rather cool!

At around 11 o'clock we collected one of my other friends from outside my building, and cycled to the club. Thankfully, we got there just in time. About 10 minutes after we arrived the place was swamped with newcomers, and the queue for the cloakroom was beyond a joke!

Bed looked awesome with all the decorations though! One thing that always puts me off Halloween is the masks and costumes. I know that sounds silly, because that's the whole point, but it freaks me out when I'm in a club or at a party and can't recognise anyone! (Yes, I am a ludicrous human being.) That wan't the case this time though - I managed to figure out who my friends were relatively easily, which was partly down to the slightly half-hearted costumes. It was one of my favourite nights yet - very relaxed and a good laugh. Lara Croft danced the night away with a cat, nun, Minnie Mouse, a strange selection of vampires and ghouls, a few humans, and occasionally the Cookie Monster.


But by the time it had reached 3am I was ready for my bed (the other bed, you know, the one used for sleeping). However, circumstances dictated that we remained in the club, against our will, until quarter to five! I should clarify, a lost cloakroom ticket meant we had to wait until the end of the night in order to get my friends belongings back. Oops!

And when I say 'lost', the ticket was given to another guy-friend to take care of, since boys always have pockets (which is very unfair if your ask me)! But he got separated from us and went home early. He did have good intentions and text me the number of the ticket, but apparently you need the original - great!

A few hours (and a ridiculous amount of guys approaching us) later, we finally got her things back and began the slow, tired cycle home!

Then finally I went to bed at 6 in the morning, only to wake up at 10 to pay my rent and study. Wonderful...

Unfortunately, the remainder of my week has been consumed with a mammoth amount of uni work. Oh well, I guess you need to knuckle down sometimes!

Again, cheers for reading and have a lovely evening. I, on the other hand, shall get back to the books.

And apologies for abandoning my boyfriend on facebook! But sometimes I just need to shut up and get the work done. Nothing personal my dear! =D x